Sunday, August 19, 2007

The Batu Ajaib Speaks - Week 1


Thank you for all questions sent. These are the questions picked randomly for the Batu Ajaib to answer. Here are the selected questions and answers:

Q: Why doesn’t my girlfriend like to swallow my sperm ?

From: Pete (no location given)

The Batu Ajaib:

Maybe yours taste awful. Why don’t you swallow your own sperm and set a good example for her.

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Q: I read the article about ghosts in Malaysia. What kind of ghosts can live here ?

From: Bulu5 - Kajang, Selangor

The Batu Ajaib:

There are 3 main kinds of ghosts who live in Malaysia:
  • Malaysian Ghosts
  • "Kwai Lo" – foreign devils / ghosts, in Cantonese
  • Red Devils – also called "Huntu Manchester United"
But the ghosts must all be either Malaysian citizens or have a valid Visa.

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Q: I work very hard but never get noticed at work by management. How do I get noticed and be placed in a more appropriate position ?

From: Shirley - Singapore

The Batu Ajaib:

For 3 consecutive days, go to work late wearing a playboy bunny costume. You will immediately be noticed by management and placed in an appropriate position in the company or somewhere else.

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Q: Do hungry ghosts only eat Chinese food ? Do they eat any other food ?

From: K.C. - Ipoh, Malaysia

The Batu Ajaib:

Hungry ghosts only eat Chinese food. Sometimes when they are very hungry, they also eat KFC and McDonalds, but they don’t eat the French fries.

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Q: How do I come up with new stuff to blog about every day? Some days I am as dry as trying to squeeze water out of a batu :(

From: Yozoranitesky (no location given)

The Batu Ajaib:

You can come up with new stuff to blog about everyday by knowing your audience. For instance, if your audience is mainly horny Ah Bengs, then write about things that will interest horny Ah Bengs. Keep updated with Ah Beng culture by reading Ah Beng blogs and websites. Speak with Ah Bengs to get their views.

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Q: Who is going to win the EPL match tonight, Chelsea or Liverpool ?

From: Mr. Potato- Penang, Malaysia

The Batu Ajaib Speaks:

The team that will win the EPL match tonight is the team whose manager did not masturbate 24 hours before the match. If the game ends with a draw, that means both team managers masturbated 24 hours before the match.

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Q: What is the winning 4D number today ?

From: Ricky - Malaysia

The Batu Ajaib Speaks:

The winning number is 7, I will give you the other three numbers next week.

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Ok folks, thats all for this week. Have a good week ahead.

Remember, read the instructions for The Batu Ajaib Speaks posted earlier, if you want your questions answered here.

9 comments:

meiyen said...

I like the one about the sperm...hahaha. Brilliant. I like your blog. Ive been reading it regularly.

Anonymous said...

chelsea better not win. bastards.

Anonymous said...

kwai lo - mat salleh
kwai lan ? means ?

anyway, my gf likes my sperm.

Anonymous said...

Hungry ghosts only eat chinese food with chopsticks, not with their hands. hahaha.... great post.

jennifer said...

i like the sperm answer ! lol. The Malaysian Life - you're a fucking cool blog.

jim said...

I knew the match gonna be a draw, both Benitez and Mourinho look like wankers to me. fuckin' wankers.

Anonymous said...

shirley form singapore should go to work naked... then she will attract the attention of everyone not only management. but her face and body must be presentable lah.

k3sh on August 20, 2007 at 9:41 AM said...

Haha what this Batu Ajaib thingy.
Its hilarious haha..
Something unusual..
I liiikeee.. :P

Muhd Syafiq Bin Rahim on September 2, 2007 at 4:47 AM said...

""Q: Do hungry ghosts only eat Chinese food ? Do they eat any other food ?

From: K.C. - Ipoh, Malaysia

The Batu Ajaib:

Hungry ghosts only eat Chinese food. Sometimes when they are very hungry, they also eat KFC and McDonalds, but they don’t eat the French fries.""

LOL!!

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