Showing posts with label The Batu Ajaib Speaks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Batu Ajaib Speaks. Show all posts

Sunday, August 19, 2007

The Batu Ajaib Speaks - Week 1

7 comments
Thank you for all questions sent. These are the questions picked randomly for the Batu Ajaib to answer. Here are the selected questions and answers:

Q: Why doesn’t my girlfriend like to swallow my sperm ?

From: Pete (no location given)

The Batu Ajaib:

Maybe yours taste awful. Why don’t you swallow your own sperm and set a good example for her.

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Q: I read the article about ghosts in Malaysia. What kind of ghosts can live here ?

From: Bulu5 - Kajang, Selangor

The Batu Ajaib:

There are 3 main kinds of ghosts who live in Malaysia:
  • Malaysian Ghosts
  • "Kwai Lo" – foreign devils / ghosts, in Cantonese
  • Red Devils – also called "Huntu Manchester United"
But the ghosts must all be either Malaysian citizens or have a valid Visa.

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Q: I work very hard but never get noticed at work by management. How do I get noticed and be placed in a more appropriate position ?

From: Shirley - Singapore

The Batu Ajaib:

For 3 consecutive days, go to work late wearing a playboy bunny costume. You will immediately be noticed by management and placed in an appropriate position in the company or somewhere else.

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Q: Do hungry ghosts only eat Chinese food ? Do they eat any other food ?

From: K.C. - Ipoh, Malaysia

The Batu Ajaib:

Hungry ghosts only eat Chinese food. Sometimes when they are very hungry, they also eat KFC and McDonalds, but they don’t eat the French fries.

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Q: How do I come up with new stuff to blog about every day? Some days I am as dry as trying to squeeze water out of a batu :(

From: Yozoranitesky (no location given)

The Batu Ajaib:

You can come up with new stuff to blog about everyday by knowing your audience. For instance, if your audience is mainly horny Ah Bengs, then write about things that will interest horny Ah Bengs. Keep updated with Ah Beng culture by reading Ah Beng blogs and websites. Speak with Ah Bengs to get their views.

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Q: Who is going to win the EPL match tonight, Chelsea or Liverpool ?

From: Mr. Potato- Penang, Malaysia

The Batu Ajaib Speaks:

The team that will win the EPL match tonight is the team whose manager did not masturbate 24 hours before the match. If the game ends with a draw, that means both team managers masturbated 24 hours before the match.

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Q: What is the winning 4D number today ?

From: Ricky - Malaysia

The Batu Ajaib Speaks:

The winning number is 7, I will give you the other three numbers next week.

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Ok folks, thats all for this week. Have a good week ahead.

Remember, read the instructions for The Batu Ajaib Speaks posted earlier, if you want your questions answered here.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

The Batu Ajaib Speaks

7 comments
THE BATU AJAIB SPEAKS

"Batu Ajaib" in Malay literally means Magic Rock or Magic Stone or Mystical Rock / Stone . Some batu ajaib are small and are thus called stones, whilst the larger ones are called rocks - I got to point this out just in case some readers get confused.

In Malaysian mythology, a "Batu Ajaib" invariably refers to a stone or a rock (depending on its size) that serves as an oracle of sorts.


Just to digress a little, please note that this has nothing to do with Harry Potter's philosopher's stone (in the US film it is called the sorcerer's stone).

The correct term is actually the philosopher's stone; which in ancient alchemical text is the essential ingredient necessary to change base metal into gold. And that is a stone, not a rock.

Anyway, the batu ajaib I'm referring to is a large stone - something like what the picture above illustrates, thus, it is a magic rock.

The point of all this is that I'm going to start a new category called The Batu Ajaib Speaks - "the magic rock speaks". Here, you will have the opportunity to ask the batu ajaib questions and receive its answers. Feel free to ask anything.

Send in your questions via email to thebatuajaibspeaks@yahoo.com and I will pose your questions to the batu ajaib. Your questions will be randomly selected and the answers will be posted here weekly.

P/s: please type in the title of your email The Malaysian Life, so I'll know it is not some spam. Also include your name or nick, and where you are from, eg. KL Malaysia, Sydney Australia, Bongkok Thailand etc, just to identify you.

Format

Title: The Malaysian Life

Hi Batu Ajaib,

Q: How do I have an affair with my boss ?


Thanks,

Susan, from PJ Selangor

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Don't send me any spam - you know what I mean:
  • internet marketing newsletters
  • free ebooks
  • affiliate links
  • product info
  • sales letters
  • financial planning stuff
  • scams - "Im a Nigerian prince....bla bla bla..."
  • anything MLM
  • any other fucking crap !
 

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